(6 months) Feeling like a Dad

So, as you may have noticed I have changed the title of my blog. This is because I am no longer going to be a Dad and that I am now a Dad. I’ve been a Dad for just over 6 months, and I think it’s finally sunk in – just about.

So much happens in the first 6 months, that it’s hard to keep track. So many things have changed in my life, and so many things have changed in the partnership of Lara and I. We are now a partnership that not only looks out for one and other, but also a partnership that has to look after the most precious thing in the world, our little girl. It’s not easy, far from it in fact. You have times when you disagree or just snap at each other because your tired. But it is because of these moments, that our relationship grows even stronger. We learn to tolerate a lot more, we learn how to work together in this new family structure. Sometimes I get it wrong, sometime Lara gets it wrong, and sometimes we both get it wrong – but that’s all part of this magnificent journey we are on. Some things we just won’t know, because nobody can tell you what is going to happen, and you just have to go with your instincts. It’s funny how your instincts change when you become a parent.

I’ve gone through so many emotions in the last 6 months, that it feels like I’m on a really long roller coaster. But one thing that I can guarantee, is no matter how hard it seems sometimes, and no matter how tired and stressed I am, seeing Lola smiling at me from across the room makes me the happiest I have ever been. When I feel so exhausted I think I may pass out, I just look at her little, innocent face and remember that everything I am doing, is for her. The stresses of raising a child, financially, mentally and physically can get almost too much at times, but the one thing we always remember, is that it’s all for the good of our little family, and that it will all get better.

I wish Lola could understand words sometimes, just so that she could understand just how amazing she is, and just how much she is loved by so many people. Some times I go in to her room while she is asleep, and talk to her, and tell how much I love her and promise her that I will always be there with her no matter what, and will always protect her and look after her the best that I can. For some reason, I think she’ll take it in when she is asleep – which I know is just silly! But maybe she does hear it, and maybe she will remember when she’s older, how Daddy would always come in and wake her up with all that talking!

Lola is like a proper little person now, sitting for as long as she wants, even sitting up on her own in the bath – makes me so proud! She smiles and laughs all day, she plays with her toys and seems to have a rather strange fascination for mugs! She is so happy, so crazy and has so much love to give, I couldn’t be a prouder Dad! She fits in to our family perfectly!