(Week 30) It’s the final countdown!

10 weeks and counting! WOW! Obviously that is if she is bang on time, which if you ask her Grandparents and her own Mom, is not going to be the case, she is going to be early. We’ll see…

I had a huge rush of fear this week… ‘What if we’re not ready?!’. Now that we are getting so close, I’m starting to panic that we wont have everything ready for her if she’s early. What if we don’t have enough blankets? Enough sheets? Enough clothes? Enough nappys (diapers)? But I guess that it was shops are for. It is a scary thought though, I want to be the best Dad I can be, and that starts by making sure I’m ready.

We’ve pretty much got all the essentials now, all the things she will definitely need from day dot, but still have a few more things to sort out. After that it’ll be things ready for when she is a little bit older, or a few treats for her and us.

I found myself day dreaming quite a lot this week, just staring at Lara’s bump, various things came in to my head, but one thought that kind of made me sad, was that I won’t have the initial bond with Little Lara that Big Lara will have. I’ve read about it in lots of books, forums and magazines, but I didn’t ever think it would be a problem for me. I don’t think it will be a huge problem for me, but it was the first time I had thought about. Lara will have had this baby inside her for 9 months, they will have bonded all that time, and I will be meeting her for the first time, and will have to build up my relationship alongside the bond they have already. It sounds pretty selfish when I write it down, but it’s difficult to explain. I guess in a way, it is jealousy. I’m not jealous of all the pain, awkwardness etc Lara has had, but I guess I’m jealous of the bond they have created. Even more reason for me to get everything ready for when she is born.

She has been kicking away in there this week, Lara even held her foot while she was at work, and had to move it out of the way as it was getting so uncomfortable. It is so crazy to think she is almost a fully grown baby now. I love it.

I can’t wait to meet her, and I cannot wait to be a Dad to her and guide her through her own journey. Exciting times ahead!