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I cannot believe it, Lola is one today – how quickly did that year go! I’ve decided that rather than write a post about the year, I will just post a letter that I have written to Lola, that maybe one day she will look back on and read.
Lola is about 8 and a half months now, and it is crazy to think that soon she’ll be 9 months, the exact same time she inside Mommys tummy. I’m sure the last 9 months have gone a lot quicker than the previous 9. It feels like only a month or two ago that we were in the hospital, holding that tiny little girl in our arms. Now we have a bigger little girl who wants to explore as much as she can and laughs and plays and smiles and shouts and screams and cuddles and kisses… I could go on, but I won’t.
Lola’s favorite thing to do at the moment is to take people for walks. She starts off playing with her toys, then she decided she is bored of that and reaches for your hands, when you give her your hands she pulls herself up and then starts to walk. She will walk anywhere she can get too, but her favorite place to walk to is the fridge. She loves to stand at the fridge and lean on it with one hand and pull of the magnets with the other, usually to eat them and then throw them on the floor.
Lola still doesn’t crawl, but she has done a bit of shuffling on her bum, but mainly she just wants to walk. Which is hard because she gets really frustrated that she can’t get to places by herself. Hopefully soon she’ll be crawling, or more likely knowing her, walking, then she’ll be off exploring all over the place – which could be interesting.
I did promise I would get some videos up in my last post, so here we are, videos of Lola at various ages:
I always say to myself I should upload some pictures to this blog. Then I always forget to do it. So finally, I am doing it! Hooray!
Here are a selection of recent photo’s of the wonderful and gorgeous Lola Barbara Christine Child.
Pretty cute isn’t she?!
I promise that in the next few weeks I will upload a video of Lola’s first 7 months – I promise!
In the week that the Beckhams gave their newborn daughter the middle name of ‘Seven’, Lola became 7 months old. 7 months? Where has 7 months gone? I’m sure she was only born a couple of week ago?! She’ll be a year before I know it, and that is scary.
Lola said ‘Da Da’ for the first time at the weekend, and she didn’t just make a noise that sounded like ‘Da Da’. She was sitting on the floor with her toys on Saturday morning, and she looked over and stared up at me with her gorgeous brown eye’s, smiled and said ‘Da Da’ – that memory will be with me forever, it is something I will never forget. She knew who I was and she (kind of) knew what I was called. ‘Da Da’. I like being called ‘Da Da’, but only when Lola says it, to everyone else it’s still Sam, or if I’m being told off, Samuel.
Along with ‘Da Da’ Lola has discovered that she can make a lot more noises now, things like ‘Bwaaa Bwaaa’ and ‘Mwah Mwah and many more. this means that we no longer suffer the screaming when she wants to eat or can’t sleep, and we are now treated to a repetitive ‘song’ – ‘Ba ba ba, Ba ba ba, Ba ba ba, Ba ba ba’. You would think it would get annoying, but it doesn’t. It’s actually pretty funny, and it’s just yet another thing she has learnt and discovered.
She got a whole new selection of toys a couple of weeks ago, more grown up toys, toys that make noises when she bashes them or eats them, toys that sing the same annoying song over and over again – JOY! But she really is loving her new toys, especially the stacking cups. I think the cups and her books are her favorite, I say this because she makes a kind of growling groaning noise when she plays with them. usually they end up in her mouth one way or another, but she does turn the pages of her books and we like to think that the growling is her reading the books – lets hope she picks up the words soon!
Lara’s been back at work for a little over a month now, and she’s doing really well. It’s taking time getting back in to the swing of things, but she’s working hard and doing the best she can, which is typical her. The new routine is tough on all 3 of us, especially Lara as she becomes the chauffeur in the morning, as we drop Lola off at Nursery, then she takes me down to the train station, then she drives down to my parents house, leaves the car there, then walks down to the train station by my parents house. We do this because my Mum (Nana) picks Lola up from Nursery in the afternoon and looks after her until we get home from work, so we need the car to be at my parents, so that we can then drive home. It’s a long and tiring day, but it’s all worth it, and hopefully it is only for the short term.
So, as you may have noticed I have changed the title of my blog. This is because I am no longer going to be a Dad and that I am now a Dad. I’ve been a Dad for just over 6 months, and I think it’s finally sunk in – just about.
So much happens in the first 6 months, that it’s hard to keep track. So many things have changed in my life, and so many things have changed in the partnership of Lara and I. We are now a partnership that not only looks out for one and other, but also a partnership that has to look after the most precious thing in the world, our little girl. It’s not easy, far from it in fact. You have times when you disagree or just snap at each other because your tired. But it is because of these moments, that our relationship grows even stronger. We learn to tolerate a lot more, we learn how to work together in this new family structure. Sometimes I get it wrong, sometime Lara gets it wrong, and sometimes we both get it wrong – but that’s all part of this magnificent journey we are on. Some things we just won’t know, because nobody can tell you what is going to happen, and you just have to go with your instincts. It’s funny how your instincts change when you become a parent.
I’ve gone through so many emotions in the last 6 months, that it feels like I’m on a really long roller coaster. But one thing that I can guarantee, is no matter how hard it seems sometimes, and no matter how tired and stressed I am, seeing Lola smiling at me from across the room makes me the happiest I have ever been. When I feel so exhausted I think I may pass out, I just look at her little, innocent face and remember that everything I am doing, is for her. The stresses of raising a child, financially, mentally and physically can get almost too much at times, but the one thing we always remember, is that it’s all for the good of our little family, and that it will all get better.
I wish Lola could understand words sometimes, just so that she could understand just how amazing she is, and just how much she is loved by so many people. Some times I go in to her room while she is asleep, and talk to her, and tell how much I love her and promise her that I will always be there with her no matter what, and will always protect her and look after her the best that I can. For some reason, I think she’ll take it in when she is asleep – which I know is just silly! But maybe she does hear it, and maybe she will remember when she’s older, how Daddy would always come in and wake her up with all that talking!
Lola is like a proper little person now, sitting for as long as she wants, even sitting up on her own in the bath – makes me so proud! She smiles and laughs all day, she plays with her toys and seems to have a rather strange fascination for mugs! She is so happy, so crazy and has so much love to give, I couldn’t be a prouder Dad! She fits in to our family perfectly!
So, my blogging has dropped away since Lola was born. I did promise that I would continue to update it, but the time just hasn’t been there. I will keep trying to update it as often as possible, I promise!
Lola is just over 21 weeks now, and in that time she has started eating real food, her favorite seems to be either Carrots or Squash mashed up. She even tries to feed herself now, which is so adorable!
She has rolled from her tummy to her back a couple of time, but since doing that, she hasn’t bothered to do it again. I think she checked she could do it, realised she could and feels no need to do it again.
She smiles almost non stop at me and Lara, which is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced. She also laughs a lot now, and i’m sure she uses this as a way to get around me if she’s had a bad night or not been eating properly. It always works!
She sings to herself in the car in the morning, when Lara drops me at the train station to go to work.
She sat up for the first time on her own a few days ago, and seemed very proud of herself – rightly so.
She just amazes me everyday, and i could not possibly list all the things she has done, as she seems to learn something new everyday.
I really didn’t think I could love someone as much as I love Lola, she is the most amazing thing in the whole world. Nothing makes me happier than walking in to her bedroom in the morning, leaning over her cot as she looks around after waking up, then spotting me and giving me the biggest, gummiest smile ever. I love you Lola, just keeping doing what your doing – being perfect!
It has been a while since I updated this blog, I haven’t even done it this year until now. So sorry to anyone who was waiting – probably not many of you. It turns out babies take up a lot of you time, which has meant the blog has taken a slight back seat. But she is asleep at the moment and so I’m taking this chance to do a quick update.
The last 7 weeks have felt like forever, it’s actually hard to remember what life was like without Lola in our lives. My life now is Lola, Everything I do is either with her or for her, and if I’m at work, she is always on my mind, I’m always looking at photos of her or texting or ringing Lara to see how she’s doing. I just love her so much, it’s amazing.
So much has happened in the last 7 weeks, that I couldn’t even begin to list them on here, but it seems that with each day, with each hour, something more amazing than the last happens. She’s always learning and so interested in everything, it is just beautiful to watch. Of course, as all babies she does cry a lot too, and those times aren’t so fun – especially the first couple of weeks when she was home and we COULD NOT get her to sleep at night. But over the weeks we’ve learnt and she has learnt how best so approach night times, and the improvement already is amazing – the last two nights she has slept for 7 hours straight, woken to eat and then slept again for another four! This is something we could not have even imagined being possible 5 weeks ago.
In the last couple of weeks she has started to smile – I never knew a smile could feel so good. Sometimes when I get in from work and hold her and talk to her, she smiles straight back, and with that smile it wipes away any thought of work or sitting on a train or even how tired I am, because that smile, makes everything worthwhile. She hasn’t quite got the hang of smiling completely yet, but she is getting there, and it is wonderful.
Already in her short life she has already had her first sleep over, with my parents – Nana and Gramps, and I’m pretty sure all three of them loved it! She has been to her first wedding, her Great Grandmothers, I’m not sure many people can say they’ve been to their Great Grandmothers wedding. She has also had a marriage proposal, from our friends son Levi Franck, all the way over in Palo Alto. She has said yes, and we are hoping to have them on a Skype date very soon.
Lara has been getting used to being home all day with just Lola, and has found it tough at times, as I am sure most people would, but she has been absolutely fantastic! She is such an amazing Mom to Lola, and you can just see by the look in Lola’s eyes when she see’s her, just how much she loves her Mommy.
I will try to update the blog more regularly, and next time I hope to get the videos of Lola’s first Christmas up. Until the video, here are a few photos of her first Christmas.
As you should all know by now, I AM A DAD! I am the happiest, proudest, luckiest Dad and Husband in the whole world!
Both my girls did absolutely amazing during the birth, they were fantastic. Lara had a tough time of it, but she did so, so well – she is and forever will be my hero. I hated seeing my Lara go through the pain she had to go through, but she knew, as we all did, that the final result she was working towards was worth anything in the world. I would have done anything to take away any of her pain during those 21 hours, but to be quite honest, I don’t think I could have done it! I have a completely new respect for all Mothers now, they are superhuman!
Lola had quite a rough first week. She swallowed a lot of meconium during the labour and had to be delivered by emergency cesarean, she was also very much engaged, which meant she had to be pushed back up, so that they could get her out safely. Thats quite a lot for someone to take in when they are only minutes old, and this meant that she was taken away from us within hours of being born and taken to the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU), this was extremely hard for Lara as she had only really been able to hold Lola for 5 minutes, so it was pretty distressing for all of us involved.
They took a blood test from Lola not long after she was born and the results showed that she only had a 73% oxygen level in her blood, and they are ideally looking for between 92-100%, the higher the better. To help counter this she was quickly put in to an incubator to give her extra oxygen and was hooked up to all sorts of machines to monitor her heartbeat, her oxygen levels and various other things – I can’t be quite sure what they all were as it was quite a lot to take in.
They were also concerned she may have an infection after swallowing all the meconium (which later proved to be the case) and so they instantly put her on a 5 day dose of antibiotics, which was later increased to 7 days so they could flush out the infection.
This was all so much to take in, and obviously the doctors main concern at this point is the baby, so they never stop for too long to explain too much to you, so you are being given all these numbers and words you dont really understand and told it will all be ok. But it was one of the scariest times of my life, so many things going through my head! This is where our incredible family and friends came to our rescue, we could not have done it without them. I will never be able to thank them enough for all the support they have given the 3 of us this last week.
Not long after being in the incubator and getting the extra oxygen, Lola had improved a lot, her breathing was a lot calmer and she was able to finally get some sleep and relax a little. It was so tough seeing her with all the tubes coming off her and having her stuck in the plastic box that was now her home, but you just have to keep telling yourself, she will be ok, and that they are doing the best things for her. Which they were, the care she received was amazing, the nurses did an amazing job.
Obviously as Lara had had major surgery she was stuck in the hospital for a few days herself and for the first 24 hours couldn’t even leave her bed to see Lola, this left me with the horrible, heart-wrenching decision to leave my little, precious baby Lola and go and sit with her Mom, to help her and to keep her updated with news about Lola as best I could. I spent most of the next 15-16 hours going up and down between Lara and Lola, as I never wanted to leave either of them alone for too long.
Every time I went down to see Lola, I had to fight to hold myself together and was wiping away a fair amount of tears. This was not how I had imagined she would be introduced to the world, it was not fair at all.
Once Lara was able to get up and walk, she was straight down to see Lola, and seeing the two of them together was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. It made me feel so much better knowing they were able to cuddle each other, and that Lara could come down and see her little girl at any time, even after I had gone home at night. Lola improved so much after having the contact with her Mom and finally breast-feeding. You could visibly see her improve every time Lara held her – it was an amazing thing to watch.
As the week went on, I had to set myself mental goals in my head, to help get me through. I was focussing on getting Lara fit enough to leave, to see Lola move to the next room, closer to the end of the ward, which means you are closer to leaving. Willing and praying that the next tube will be removed, that she will no longer need monitoring 24/7 etc. And these things happened, slowly but surely she got better and better, and now, she is fully fit and at home with us, where she belongs.
The last week has seemed like a year to me, and although I know, compared to others we’ve had very good birth and are extremely lucky, while you are going through what we went through, your only thought is yourself and your family, and some of the things that happened took me very close to the peak of my emotions, and at times I wasn’t sure if I could keep it going without just breaking down. But you have to be strong, because Lola needs us to be strong. Also, knowing that Lara had been through so much worse than me, meant that I was in no position to be complaining, I had to support her. At times I would rant, usually to my parents. I would cry, to my parents. I would swear and scream, to my parents. But these were things I had to do, away from the hospital, away from Lola, to get them out of my system, so that I could be as calm as possible around her.
My parents have been simply amazing this past week, I don’t know how to thank them enough, but that’s something I will try to explain and show them personally, over the next few months. Once I’ve caught up on sleep. I love them so very much!
Fatherhood is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, I just cannot believe how much I love Lola. I could just stare at her forever and more. I now understand all the things that people have said to me about how they feel about their children and I now have all those feelings. I know at times it will be tough, it will be frustrating, it will be sad, but one thing I can promise to my Lola is that no matter what, I will always be there for her, I will always be beside her holding her hand, I will always love her and I will always protect her as best I can. I will always hold her when she needs to be held, I will always be the best Dad I can be and hopefully I will be her best friend too.
I managed to get her in front of a camera earlier while her eyes were open, isn’t she beautiful!
I am going to try and update this blog as regularly as possible, as Lara’s family and friends are over in the US and so I want to help them get as many updates about Lola as possible. I also just want to continue sharing the amazing story of fatherhood!
Thank you all very much for your love and support, it means so much to all 3 of us!
I'm a Dad! 
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