You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘grandparent’ tag.
As you may have guessed from the images above, we had the first scan last week (Tuesday to be exact). My Mum came with us to share the experience, and what an experience it was!
I always thought the first scan would be a pretty cool experience, but it is truly amazing, if you haven’t been through it, it is very difficult to explain just how amazing it is. As soon as I saw the little thing I just wanted him/her to pop out there and then so I could meet him/her properly. It might have been a bit messy and probably not the safest thing for the baby, so I kept that quiet and didn’t suggest it. But seeing its little head, its little legs crossed (it seemed like a pretty chilled out baby) its arms giving us a wave (turns out the baby likes the camera, no idea where he/she gets that from?!) it just all became so real.
It genuinely gets more real with everything we do, we buy the pram, it gets more real, we see a bigger bump, it gets more real, Lara gets very random cravings, it gets more real. But this really, really made it all seem very real, and I just cannot wait to get this little guy/gal out in to the world and get to know him or her. Hurry up 181 days, I want to be a Dad!
I wondered how I would react to the scan, would this be my moment when I jump up and down and scream and shout about how excited I am? Will I get extremely scared when I realise that I’m going to be a Dad? Or worst of all, will I not even be able to make out my baby and feel like the worst Dad ever? Well I reacted by doing the first thing, although I did most of it inside my head, because apparently Hospitals don’t like mad people running and jumping around telling everyone they are going to be a Dad, but that’s what I was doing in my head. I was just so excited. I also got at least a few tears in my eyes, and was literally speechless. I wanted to get as close to the screen as I possibly could, so that I could take in of much as him/her as I could. I just didn’t want it to end. I could have watched that little thing all day. Lara might not have been too happy with that as she had a pretty full bladder and was already struggling.
They also test for the likelihood of your baby having downs syndrome at the first scan, they measure the width of the neck and take blood samples from the Mum (so Lara in our case). They told us that if the baby was high risk, we would get a call within a couple of days, but if it was low risk, we would just be sent a letter. Things like this really scare me, so I had a couple of sleepless nights waiting for the news, but luckily for us, we got a letter through a couple of days a go to say the baby is low risk, and has a 1 in 22,000 chance of having downs syndrome.
So that was the scan, and to be honest, that outweighs everything else that happened last week, but to keep you all up to date, we went baby shopping on Monday with my parents (my Dad really enjoyed this, he really loves going shopping), and we got some baby clothes and accessories, we also got the baby its pram, it’s one of those 3-in-1 prams, that seems to come with everything you could possibly need, until the baby is 1 years old and you have to pay more money to buy even more stuff for them.
Lara’s started to get cravings now, and they seem to be mainly for random American food, so American family, you could be getting a lot of requests over the next 6 months to send over some random food items. I just hope Lara doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night and expect me to track down the nearest store selling Kool Aid or some other random american item.
Our baby will have its first big decision to make next Saturday, as England play USA in the world cup, and he/she needs to decide which country it’s going to side with. It’s a big decision, but not a difficult one, if it wants to back the winner he goes with Dad, if not he can go and lose with Mum/Mom.
A plastic stick with a cross on it. It doesn’t sound like much does it? One little cross, and quite a faded one too. But that little cross, on that small plastic stick, has changed my life forever… I’m going to be a Dad!
Me, a Dad? I’m going to be a Dad? How can I afford this? Will I make a good Dad? What will people think? I’m going to be a Dad!!
That is pretty much what went through my head when I knelt down to check the small window on that plastic stick, and saw that small faded blue cross. It still amazes me that one little cross has such an impact on your life, and on all those around you. But that was what I saw, and that was the news I wanted. I was going to be a Dad. It was going to be my turn to pass on all my wisdom to another little boy or girl… that poor thing!
So to go back a few months, my Wife and I decided that after about 2 years of marriage, we wanted to start a family. It wasn’t a decision we took lightly, we discussed it, debated it and changed our minds quite a few times over the weeks and months of talking about it. So many questions go through your head at this point, can you afford it? Are you mentally ready? Is your relationship strong enough to cope? Do you have room in your relationship for another little human? And you go from saying Yes, to No and back to Yes on every question, quite a few times. But we decided, that yes we were ready, we wanted to have our own family within the next year or so. So we began to plan things, we moved to a two bed flat, my Wife came of the pill, we tried to make ourselves as financially stable as you can.
It didn’t all quite go to plan though, as we were expecting it to take at least 6 months, probably a little longer. It took us 2 months! That was quite a shock, because although we were ready and were planning to have a baby, I wouldn’t say we were trying, we were more practicing. But a couple of weeks ago my wife said to me ‘my period is late’, my first thought, being a bloke, ‘Ok, cool…’, then you replay it again in your head, ‘my period is late’…. ‘Oooooooooh, I see’. So we realise that now would be a good time to get one of those plastic sticks I mentioned earlier, the ones that change your life forever.
The first two we tried, came back negative, which after all the build up, actually disappointed me more than I thought it would. I had built myself up, ready to call my parents and make them happy and proud of me. But it wasn’t to be. So we left it a few days, and my wife was still ‘late’. So we decided that it would be best to do another test, just to be sure, and if it still said negative, she should probably phone the doctor, as being this late isn’t normal… apparently. So in she went, to do her stuff on that plastic stick that changes your life forever. Me doing my bit, walking up and down the hall outside the bathroom and asking every 10 seconds ‘are you done yet?’. I’m not sure that helped her, but it helped me.
Out she comes from the bathroom, looking slightly nervous. She hadn’t looked at the result yet, that was my job, so in I go, the longest 3 steps of my life. Is my life about to change in a way I could never before imagine, or is it all a false alarm?
I stare at it, I look at the instructions and compare the symbols, I stare at the stick again, the stick that has now become the most important thing in my life… I’m going to be a Dad!
I can hear my wife asking ‘What does it say? Am I pregnant’, I couldn’t really answer, it seemed too big for me to just say ‘Yep, yep, you’ve got my baby inside you.’ So I just sat there, waiting for her to come in and check it herself. Once she came in and looked for herself, we both just sat there for what seemed like hours, not talking, just staring at this one plastic stick with a blue faded cross on it. I didn’t know how to react, I was obviously happy and excited, but also I was so incredibly scared. Things had changed forever, in a matter of minutes, and that is a lot to take in, something I still haven’t come to terms with a week later.
It’s so hard to explain the feelings you have, and I’m sure they are different for everybody, but for me it just hasn’t sunk in yet. I know it’s real, and I know what it means, but my brain just can’t seem to process it yet. I feel kind of guilty, because I haven’t yet been jumping up and down celebrating, but I think that is just because it is such a big thing, something that has made my life change forever.
Now was the time I was looking forward to, telling our parents that they were going to be Grandparents for the first time, something I knew my Mum has been looking forward to for about 10 years, and something I knew would make my Dad cry, in a good way. We phoned my wife’s Mum first, as she lives abroad. I won’t go in to too much detail as I feel this is a private moment between a very proud Mum and her daughter, but she took it very well and was incredibly excited! Next was my parents and it was my turn to tell. How do you tell them? Do I build it up? Do I just hit them with it? After building up the courage I eventually called them and my Mum answered, I tried with some small talk, but to be honest, I have no idea what we were talking about, I think something to do with Chicken soup being the most exciting part of her day… that was going to change!
‘So, Mum, I’m pretty sure you’re going to be a Grandmother’, then you here a lot of screaming, laughing and general excitement, I think she took it pretty well. I could then hear her telling my Dad ‘we’re having a baby’, which isn’t strictly true, they’re having a grandchild, but who am I to ruin this moment. My Dads response was one of shock at this point, as he probably thinks HE is going to be a Dad again, ‘Why?!’ he says, then my Mum explains that actually they’re youngest son and his wife are having a child, and it all comes clearer in his mind, and I can tell by his voice he is getting tears in his eyes. My Mum is very much a screamer, whereas my Dad is more of an emotional guy, who isn’t afraid to cry, I am a bit like both I think, I shout, scream and cry, it gets messy!
After this we phoned my wifes Dad, her brother and my brother, and they were all so excited too, I even think I heard a few tears from my father in law, and it is things like that, that make you feel good inside. Because you realise not only is this affecting you, but all these people around you, and in such a positive way. We decided that we weren’t going to be telling anybody else now, not til after 12 weeks, because apparently 12 weeks is the most dangerous time – 1 in 5 pregnancies miscarry in the first 3 months, that’s a scary stat for me.
This week my wife and my Mum went to the first doctors appointment (I couldn’t make it unfortunately), and the doctor went over everything and answered all the questions we had, I think this really helped my wife and eased any concerns she had. We also started reading up on things about the pregnancy and babies etc. It’s going to be quite a journey I think. A lot of ups and downs, a lot of tears, a lot of laughs, a lot of screaming, a lot of money, but luckily no more plastic sticks that change your life forever.
I'm a Dad! 
Recent Comments