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Lola is about 8 and a half months now, and it is crazy to think that soon she’ll be 9 months, the exact same time she inside Mommys tummy. I’m sure the last 9 months have gone a lot quicker than the previous 9. It feels like only a month or two ago that we were in the hospital, holding that tiny little girl in our arms. Now we have a bigger little girl who wants to explore as much as she can and laughs and plays and smiles and shouts and screams and cuddles and kisses… I could go on, but I won’t.
Lola’s favorite thing to do at the moment is to take people for walks. She starts off playing with her toys, then she decided she is bored of that and reaches for your hands, when you give her your hands she pulls herself up and then starts to walk. She will walk anywhere she can get too, but her favorite place to walk to is the fridge. She loves to stand at the fridge and lean on it with one hand and pull of the magnets with the other, usually to eat them and then throw them on the floor.
Lola still doesn’t crawl, but she has done a bit of shuffling on her bum, but mainly she just wants to walk. Which is hard because she gets really frustrated that she can’t get to places by herself. Hopefully soon she’ll be crawling, or more likely knowing her, walking, then she’ll be off exploring all over the place – which could be interesting.
I did promise I would get some videos up in my last post, so here we are, videos of Lola at various ages:
It has been a while since I updated this blog, I haven’t even done it this year until now. So sorry to anyone who was waiting – probably not many of you. It turns out babies take up a lot of you time, which has meant the blog has taken a slight back seat. But she is asleep at the moment and so I’m taking this chance to do a quick update.
The last 7 weeks have felt like forever, it’s actually hard to remember what life was like without Lola in our lives. My life now is Lola, Everything I do is either with her or for her, and if I’m at work, she is always on my mind, I’m always looking at photos of her or texting or ringing Lara to see how she’s doing. I just love her so much, it’s amazing.
So much has happened in the last 7 weeks, that I couldn’t even begin to list them on here, but it seems that with each day, with each hour, something more amazing than the last happens. She’s always learning and so interested in everything, it is just beautiful to watch. Of course, as all babies she does cry a lot too, and those times aren’t so fun – especially the first couple of weeks when she was home and we COULD NOT get her to sleep at night. But over the weeks we’ve learnt and she has learnt how best so approach night times, and the improvement already is amazing – the last two nights she has slept for 7 hours straight, woken to eat and then slept again for another four! This is something we could not have even imagined being possible 5 weeks ago.
In the last couple of weeks she has started to smile – I never knew a smile could feel so good. Sometimes when I get in from work and hold her and talk to her, she smiles straight back, and with that smile it wipes away any thought of work or sitting on a train or even how tired I am, because that smile, makes everything worthwhile. She hasn’t quite got the hang of smiling completely yet, but she is getting there, and it is wonderful.
Already in her short life she has already had her first sleep over, with my parents – Nana and Gramps, and I’m pretty sure all three of them loved it! She has been to her first wedding, her Great Grandmothers, I’m not sure many people can say they’ve been to their Great Grandmothers wedding. She has also had a marriage proposal, from our friends son Levi Franck, all the way over in Palo Alto. She has said yes, and we are hoping to have them on a Skype date very soon.
Lara has been getting used to being home all day with just Lola, and has found it tough at times, as I am sure most people would, but she has been absolutely fantastic! She is such an amazing Mom to Lola, and you can just see by the look in Lola’s eyes when she see’s her, just how much she loves her Mommy.
I will try to update the blog more regularly, and next time I hope to get the videos of Lola’s first Christmas up. Until the video, here are a few photos of her first Christmas.
It took me a while to get it, to work out exactly how I felt about waiting for our little baby, but I got it. I worked out what that feeling was. It was like waiting for that package to arrive in the post, the one you really really want to be on time, but deep down you know it won’t be, and you also know that you can’t really do anything about it, apart from get inpatient and frustrated. Thats how I feel! A little bit more extreme and excited, as the package is the most exciting package I have ever had the pleasure to be waiting for, but that is the closest thing I could think of – weird aren’t I?!
I know Little Lara isn’t late yet, but because I got myself prepared for her to be early, I kind of convinced myself she would be, so now I am getting inpatient. I know it’s my own fault, and I am not blaming the package or the ‘courier’.
My emotions have been pretty up and down this last week, I go from ridiculously excited and unable to concentrate, all the way through to all out fear, and pretty much every emotion you could imagine in-between those 2. The fear I’ve had, tucked away in the back of my head has not disappeared at any point through this journey, the fear of being a bad Dad scares the bejesus out of me. The standards have been set for me, as I have grown up around a lot of amazing Dads. My Dad, the man I would personally call the ultimate Dad. My Dads Dad, Grandpa, the guy who taught my Dad everything. My uncle Mike, who was my 2nd Dad and was as good to me as he was his own children. Obviously I know many more amazing Dads, but these are the 3 men i have learnt the most from, and the one thing I can link them all with is as well as being related to them, they have all been a great friend to me, someone I could turn to for help, advice, or just to have a bit of a joke with. Between them they have taught me to walk and talk, been my football coach, taught me how to play pool and table tennis, taught me to ride a bike, taught me to enjoy hiking up the Welsh hills in the pouring rain and high winds – and enjoying it! The list goes on and on, but the point is, I have no excuse to be a bad Dad, and for that very reason I am convinced that I will be fine. I have many memories to call on that I’m sure will help me out in various situations, and I know I am only a phone call away from some advice. And I expect to be making a few phone calls.
In Lara news, we thought we may well be spending the night in hospital last night. We thought we were about to meet our little girl. But, it was not to be. I think it was just her bodies reaction to the busy day that it had just been put through. A whole days christmas shopping proved to be a little bit too much for a heavily pregnant lady – who would have thought?!
We even had my Mum on standby, ready to come over and to start the preparations to get us to the hospital, but it all proved to be a false alarm. At least now I will know how it will kind of feel, when it does happen. I just hope my hand recovers in time, because it got well and truly squeezed last night!
Here are a couple of photos of bump:
14 days to go, well if we aren’t ready now, then we better get a move on, because it really could happen any day now. Lara has started her maternity leave now, and so many people of told me stories of how they went on maternity leave and within the first couple of days, once they were nice and relaxed, the baby decided that was the time to arrive – so I’m getting myself prepared, just in case.
With 2 weeks to go until the due date, I seem to have got to a point where I am now just waiting, we have most things arranged and organised, we know where we’re going, who we need to contact and when, the people we want to tell first, and when we want to tell them. We have got most of the things that she will need from day zero and it seems we now have enough clothes to get her through the first year!
Don’t worry though, I am not that deluded, I understand that within the first 24 hours of bringing my little girl home, I will be packed off to the shops with a list of things we need to get, and that this will become an almost daily routine for me. I’m fine with that, I accepted it a long time ago.
We’ve been trying to work out what to get our little girl for Christmas, but every time we think of something, we then decide she should have that from the moment she is born, so we are trying hard to hold things back until Christmas day, so that we will not just be relying on Father Christmas!
Lara is officially 100% uncomfortable and ready for the carrying of baby to be over. For the last few days she has been getting some horrible cramps. They only last about a second or two at a time, but a couple of times she has had 3 or 4 in quick succession, which isn’t great when you’re sitting on a train or stuck in a meeting!
Lara also went to visit the midwife on Friday, and she was told that the baby is nice and healthy and is now engaged and in the correct position, so that’s all good news. Little Lara is quite small apparently, but as Lara is small, it is nothing to be worried about. hopefully that will make her arrival a little easier?
I will try to get a picture of the bump up next week, but I haven’t felt brave enough to ask Lara to stand by the wall while I take my time getting the right angle and the perfect lighting whilst she stands still, uncomfortable and bored. I’ll wait until she is nice and calm and relaxed.
10 weeks and counting! WOW! Obviously that is if she is bang on time, which if you ask her Grandparents and her own Mom, is not going to be the case, she is going to be early. We’ll see…
I had a huge rush of fear this week… ‘What if we’re not ready?!’. Now that we are getting so close, I’m starting to panic that we wont have everything ready for her if she’s early. What if we don’t have enough blankets? Enough sheets? Enough clothes? Enough nappys (diapers)? But I guess that it was shops are for. It is a scary thought though, I want to be the best Dad I can be, and that starts by making sure I’m ready.
We’ve pretty much got all the essentials now, all the things she will definitely need from day dot, but still have a few more things to sort out. After that it’ll be things ready for when she is a little bit older, or a few treats for her and us.
I found myself day dreaming quite a lot this week, just staring at Lara’s bump, various things came in to my head, but one thought that kind of made me sad, was that I won’t have the initial bond with Little Lara that Big Lara will have. I’ve read about it in lots of books, forums and magazines, but I didn’t ever think it would be a problem for me. I don’t think it will be a huge problem for me, but it was the first time I had thought about. Lara will have had this baby inside her for 9 months, they will have bonded all that time, and I will be meeting her for the first time, and will have to build up my relationship alongside the bond they have already. It sounds pretty selfish when I write it down, but it’s difficult to explain. I guess in a way, it is jealousy. I’m not jealous of all the pain, awkwardness etc Lara has had, but I guess I’m jealous of the bond they have created. Even more reason for me to get everything ready for when she is born.
She has been kicking away in there this week, Lara even held her foot while she was at work, and had to move it out of the way as it was getting so uncomfortable. It is so crazy to think she is almost a fully grown baby now. I love it.
I can’t wait to meet her, and I cannot wait to be a Dad to her and guide her through her own journey. Exciting times ahead!
I’m sorry for the late and very short post, but I have been away all weekend with my brother and have just got back.
I am so tired, that my updates this week will be very short and just covering the important bits…
…Mother and Child are all good. Little Lara is continuing to kick away and did a good job of keeping her Mom company this weekend while I was away. Thank you Little Lara!
I’ll cover more next week, when we really start coming in to the home straight, with only 10 weeks to go! CRAZY!
Lets start with Lara, she has been suffering a lot this last week. She’s obviously done something at some point in her life to upset her back, because he is certainly giving her some pain at the moment. She went to the doctors about it at the start of the week, because it’s just been getting worse and worse, and she just doesn’t want to deal with it, and wants someone to fix it. Sounds so easy doesn’t it?!
The doctor’s appointment unfortunately didn’t offer as much hope as she had wanted. She was basically told she has SPD (Symphisis Pubis Dysfunction (which sounds just lovely)), which basically means that all the bones in her pelvic area have spread apart which is what causes the pain, and going by what Lara has said to me, it is extremely painful and not much fun at all, especially in this heat. The doctor told her that to see a physio would mean going on a waiting list of about 9 months, which is kind of pointless now. The doctor also said that any exercise they would give you, would be stuff you can do with a DVD anyway, so that she is better of getting a Pilate’s Pregnancy DVD (yes, they do exist). The doctor also suggested that she see an Osteopath, we’re really hoping my medical insurance will cover it.
he best advice regarding Lara’s back has come from her best friend Amy though, who has just recently been through the whole pregnancy thing. She recommends the beer can massage, which pretty much means I have to roll a chilled beer can up and down Lara’s back. Everyone wins in this situation because Lara gets her massage and I get a can of beer. This has genuinely been working as well, so thanks for the tip Amy.
In other news Lara’s mood swings are back, and they are REALLY back! I won’t go in to it too much, as I don’t want to upset, anger or make Lara laugh too much.
Lara also felt more fluttering on Friday, I think she was getting worried as she hadn’t felt any since it first happened, but Baby gave her a little wave to let her know he/she is doing fine.
I’ve been trying to talk to the baby as much as I can through the bump this last week, as it can now hear things and will remember the voices that it here’s a lot of. I think singing may be on the cards for the baby next week, the lucky thing!
Sorry it’s short this week, but we’re off to a BBQ soon and I have to get ready. I also have to go and buy more beer cans, for Lara of course.
P.S. The bump is getting big! I’ll post some pictures next week.
I TOLD SOMEBODY! And the relief is gooooood!
I know we aren’t officially telling anyone until after 12 weeks, but I’ve told one of my really good friends, who I also happen to work with. I think the fact I had been drinking helped it slip out a little easier, but my wife was there as well and she said I could tell. So I did!
And the reaction was amazing, I knew it would be, but as you’ll already know, I’ve been so worried about telling my friends, in case of a mixed reaction. There was nothing mixed about this, it was mouth wide open and pure excitement. GOOD TIMES!
I’m so glad we’ve finally told someone other than direct family and my wife’s best friend, it’s made it seem so much more real to me. And I’ve found myself day dreaming about what I’m going to be doing with my little boy/girl, taking them to as many places as I can as early as I can, so they can discover all these amazing new things that the world has to offer. Explaining to him/her that they are a Chelsea fan. Introducing them to all out family and friends, buying him/her presents, celebrating his/her’s first Christmas, seeing his/her’s first steps, hearing the first words, which I imagine will be ‘Dad’ or ‘Chelsea’… or maybe ‘Mum’.
So I’m pretty excited now, I’m finally starting to feel fully ready, the scared feeling isn’t there right now, but I’m sure it’ll be back, so I’m just making the most of it.
Although, that said, we went to a party last night, with all our friends, and it did make me think about what we’ll be missing for the next couple of years. Not because we can’t go to any party for the next couple of years, but I imagine things become different. Even if you do go, you will be so tired you will probably be the couple taking a nap in the corner, you’ll want to get home to either put the baby to bed, or if you have babysitters, you will want to get home to make sure the baby is ok, this will be another moment my worrying won’t help with!
It did make me sad thinking about this, but then the thought of telling them all about our little guy/gal inside my wife’s tummy, and seeing the reactions… that makes it all seem better. It’s so exciting!
I think people might be starting to guess now, as my wife was at the party, amongst people with bottles of beer, glasses of vodka and coke, cocktails, vodka jelly, and she has bright pink ‘juice’. In fact, when our friend was taking vodka jelly around to people, she didn’t even ask my wife. Maybe it’s me looking in to it too much, but I think they are starting to guess.
Well they’ll all know for real in about a week and half. Then it really will feel real and I can finally talk about how excited I am. And about how scared I am. And about how expensive it will be. And about how bloody awesome it is!!!!
I guess I should probably give you an update on my wife as well, as she’s kind of a big deal in this whole pregnancy thing.
She is good, she is suffering a bit with back pains, and she isn’t sure if that is to do with the baby or because she has knocked it or pulled a muscle or something. I don’t think it helps with the whole mood roller-coaster though, because yesterday morning that thing went on one hell of a dip. A couple of things hadn’t gone quite right, and it just pushed her off the edge, I think all her emotions suddenly came out. It’s hard for her anyway dealing with these emotions, but she is also so far away from all her family (who all live in the US). I think some people forget this at times, and probably don’t realise how hard it can be for her. But my family are amazing, they treat her as one of them, and give her so much support and love. We’re both so lucky to have them. And fortunately when we go and visit her family in America, I get exactly the same from them. It’s pretty rare I know, but we’ve both done pretty well with in-laws!
Her brother is coming to visit us for 2 weeks on Tuesday, and my wife is so excited about it, she has the full 2 weeks off and is so excited to have her little brother over here, and can’t wait to show him around where she lives now and all the exciting stuff that comes with it.
Other than yesterday morning, this weeks mood roller-coaster hasn’t been too bad, it’s generally been a steady good mood. I like this mood, it’s much more husband friendly. She been a bit tired, but not nearly as tired as she was in the first few weeks. I think maybe she is starting to get used to the whole thing a bit more. Either way she has been amazing, I wouldn’t want to be in her position, it sounds exhausting, so well done to her!
Firstly, after last weeks slight scare, everything is fine. My wife went to see her doctor about the dropped cervix, and it turns out it wasn’t a dropped cervix at all. I won’t go in to all the details, as this isn’t a medical blog, but all is fine and well with both Mother and Embryo Thing. Well I say all is well, she is feeling sick and tired almost 24/7, which doesn’t sound like fun, and it’s really difficult to know what to do. I try to act as normal as possible, to try and help cheer her up, but I think most of the time I’m better off keeping silent and still – I am not very good at this. Her appetite is very strange at the moment too, one minute she wants to eat Chicken, the next minute the site of it makes her want to throw up, cooking dinner is exciting!
So that’s her this week, very up and down and side to side and everything in between. My job is to just roll with the punches. If she wants some Pasta, I make Pasta, but knowing that by the time I serve it, she will want a curry. But it’s fine, because my job as the Man, is to go along with it and support her in any way I can. This meant i was away the whole weekend, on a boys day out with my Dad and Brother on Saturday and helping my cousin move in to his new flat on Sunday. I think she quite enjoyed the quiet time, and used it to catch up on some more sleep.
It’s been another mixed week for my emotions this week, I got offered a new job (start on Monday), which is amazing and I’m so excited, but then I worry about telling my new company I’m going to be having a baby, well not me, but that I am going to be a Dad, and I wonder how they’ll react.
I’ve been thinking a lot about reactions this week. How different people will react. Already the reactions are so mixed, and we’ve only told our very close family. I guess people just deal with these things differently. But I do wonder how my friends will react. Will they think we won’t be seeing them anymore because we are parents and they are not. Will they think it’s too early, or not the right time? Will they judge us? Yes, they probably will, but like all good friends, whatever they’re feeling about it, I know they will be there to support us.
It’s difficult for me, as I’m younger than my wife, she is 28 and I am 23, so a lot of people already seem to judge me for being married. ‘you are so young though’, ‘you’re too young to be married’. Am I? Why am I? Who says I am? It’s something I’ve accepted and I’m used too. Maybe I am a young husband and going to be a young Dad, but this doesn’t make it wrong or right. I know people will react differently, but that would happen anyway, whoever I was.
The problem for me is, I am a worrier, I would love to not be, but I am. I blame this fully on my Dad and his Mum. All 3 of us worry about everything and anything, so just imagine the amount of sleepless nights I’m having at the moment! The silly thing is, I probably lie awake at night thinking about the more silly things, rather than the practical things. The practical things I’m OK with, because I can go to people for advice about them without sounding crazy. But things like ‘Am I too young?!’ can’t be answered, because there is no answer.
That all sounds quite negative, but it isn’t as negative as it sounds. I am so excited about all this, but I think it’s all starting to sink in now. We have so much to think about, and so much to plan and prepare for. And it’s so difficult at the moment, because nobody else knows, and it’s difficult to keep your mouth shut, when all you are really thinking about is that baby. But we can start telling people in about 5 weeks, and I think then it will become even more real. But for now, I must focus on not making my wife feel sick, which is actually impossible, but I’ll give it my best shot.
That was one of the longest weeks I’ve had in a long time. I don’t think having the 4 day weekend helped, but the pregnancy definitely hit home for me this week. It’s been a week of extreme mixed emotions, I’ve been excited, scared, confused, happy and everything in between. For my wife and I, this week has really brought the pregnancy home, mainly because she is now starting to show a lot more symptoms, instead of just that blue faded cross from last week.
My wife has really struggled this week, her cervix has dropped really low, and is extremely uncomfortable for her, and very scary too. It’s so difficult being the bloke at this point because you just don’t know how to help. You can read as many books and Internet pages as you want, but absolutely nothing can prepare you for this. How can you reassure someone about something you have no clue about. I searched and searched for as much information about the feelings my wife was having, and everything comes back so mixed. It was all positive, nothing made me worry at all, but the problems she is having seem to come at different times for different women in a whole mix of severity. So then you try and reassure her with this information, but the information just isn’t very helpful to this poor woman who is lying on the sofa scared her insides are going to drop out.
My Mum has been a huge help this week, as she works at a doctors surgery, she has been able to speak to doctors and try to get as much information as she can, to help my wife feel better. She is also an extremely reassuring person, and has helped my wife to focus and work out the best way to tackle the problems she is suffering. I have no idea how my Dad felt about having to listen to conversations about his daughter-in-laws cervix while he is trying to watch a film. I don’t think it was quite what he had planned for his Monday night, but I have a feeling he may have to get used to such conversations.
As well as the problem with the cervix, my wife has been extremely tired this week, and has been napping when and where she can. So I find myself relegated to the spare room, while she takes over the sofa for a well deserved break. I’m happy to take this relegation, as I’m not the one carrying and nurturing our little fetus.
I’ve found myself getting even more protective of my wife this week, it’s really strange. I don’t want her to do anything, I’m even scared of her going off to work. I know this is crazy, but the stat of 1 in 5 pregnancy’s in the first 12 weeks miscarrying, scares the hell out of me, and I want to make sure I can do anything in my power to make sure we aren’t one of the people that have to suffer than unimaginable pain. The trouble is, I am virtually powerless. Other than supporting and allowing my wife to rest, I feel pretty much helpless. It’s not a nice feeling to have, because I want to be as involved as I can be, but I know that my role is very much from the outside, compared to the role my wife has. That said, seeing the changes she is going through, I do not envy her at all. I’m so proud of the way she is coping with all of this, because it must be so scary for her to know that she has a little fetus/baby/thing growing inside her. She’s being amazing, as I knew she would be.
On a more selfish note, this week I have found myself day dreaming a lot, not just about what the baby will be like, and what sort of parents we’ll be. But just about my past, and the things that I won’t be able to do again, things that will never be the same. Not in a sad way, because I’ve had a fantastic life so far, and done amazing things. But it’s difficult not to look back and think ‘That was awesome, I’d love to do that again’ but knowing that you never will. Even things like popping to the pub with friends for a few drinks. Won’t be doing that again. But then at the same time, I know I will do all those things again, at some stage. Things will just be different, and I’m ready for them to be different. If I can have my own family, I would give up almost anything for that.
When we went over to my Mum and Dads at the weekend, I was sitting in the lounge, in the house that I grew up in, and I think that’s when it really hit me. It’s amazing, I’m going to be a Dad! Not that long ago I was the child playing in this house, in this garden, and soon it will be my child doing that, and no doubt with some of the toys I played with too! I then noticed a picture hanging above the fireplace, it was a picture of my Mum and Dad, me and my wife and my brother and his girlfriend. It was taken on a holiday a couple of years ago in France, an amazing holiday, and it made me all excited, because soon I knew those family pictures, would include a little baby, my little baby. I could picture every one of us in that photo being the one holding him too, and I just couldn’t wait to meet my little baby, and for him/her to meet his/her family.
I know it’s a very long adventure, but this last week has been pretty intense, and I really feel the adventure is starting to begin now. WOW!
I'm a Dad! 
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