(Week 37 – 21 days to go) We could squeeze in a holiday to Florida?

It seems amazing and kind of scary that we only have 21 days until Little Lara is due. Less than a month. The same length of time I once had a holiday in Florida for. When I think of it like that, I realise that the next 3 weeks have the potential to fly by. Part of me hopes they do, as i cannot wait to meet this Little Girl who has already taken over our lives, but part of is also still a bit nervous about the whole thing. I’m nervous about so many different things, and it changes from day to day. I just want to make sure that our little girl is as happy as she can be.

Lara is getting pretty fed up and uncomfortable now, sleeping seems to be getting very difficult and I think she is more than ready to get Little Lara out of there. So I guess we now just have to wait until Little Lara agrees with her Mommy, and comes out to meet us.

After going to the hospital last week, and seeing where we will be when Lara gives birth and we meet Little Lara for the first time, it made the whole thing seem even more real. I don’t think it as until I was in the room, that I 100% realised this is happening. I’ve been able to distract myself with other things up until now, not because I don’t want to be a Dad, but because it’s so scary. It’s also always seemed so long away. When you tell people 3 months, it just sounds like that is a long wait, so you don’t panic too much. Now when I tell people ‘3 weeks’, they all say ‘Oh, it could be anytime now then. Which is of course true, because any baby born after 37 weeks is considered full term. This means anytime Lara calls me or she has a slight twinge or movement, I go in to ‘Birthing Parter’ mode. I have no doubt the one time I forget to go in to ‘Birthing Partner’ mode will be the one time I need to be.

I keep going over and over in my head, how the day will go, when she is finally born. I don’t know why, as it is impossible to predict. But I am just so worried that all the right people won’t be in the right places. I don’t mean the doctors, nurses etc. But I mean Lara, me and my Mum (my Mum is Lara’s other birthing partner). I’m worried that Lara will be at home, I will be at work, over an hours journey away and Mum will be off out somewhere, miles and miles away. I know that even if this is the case, it isn’t a big issue, as we have more than enough time to get back and get Lara to hospital. But I just hate the thought of Lara being in all that pain ll on her own.

It’s Lara’s last week at work next week, before she goes on to Maternity leave, that also makes it all feel very real. It really is happening soon! I have also booked the week off leading up to the due date. Not because I am that confident she will be born that week, but it’s mainly so that I can make sure we have everything ready, and so that I can help Lara to be comfortable and relax just before she goes through Labour.

If Little Lara wants to get in to her Dads good books from the word go, she will arrive bang on her due date, because that means with my paternity leave (2 weeks) and the various holidays I have booked in, I will only be working 5 days in the whole of December, so I would do ok out of that, and I would be around a lot to help Lara out.

(Week 35 – 35 days to go) – Let me outta here!

Now that we can count down in days, we know it’s really about to happen. I am fairly calm and very excited, and cannot wait to meet Little Lara. Lara is extremely nervous now, I think because she has got her driving test out of the way (Lara passed her driving test. While she was very pregnant. What a woman! Wahoo), she now has just the due date to aim for, and so all her thoughts and worries are about that.

We’ve started making the final purchases and plans ready for when Little Lara arrives, and I think, I hope, I pray, that we have everything we need and everything ready for her. I’m sure we’ll find out if we haven’t. Not only have we had to get all the things she will need ready, but we have had to start thinking about her Christmas presents, and Christmas outfits. At one stage she was set to have about 20 different outfits on Christmas day, but I think we’ve now got her down to a more sensible 3… for now.

We welcomed a beautiful little girl to our family this week, my cousin Stefan and his girlfriend Stef (yes, Stefan and Stef) finally got to meet their little girl, Isabella, after she was about 2 weeks over due. And talking to Stefan about how he’s feeling has just made me even more excited about meeting Little Lara. I struggle to concentrate sometime, just because I’m so excited.

Lara has said she is now ready to ‘get this thing out of her’ – she means that in the nicest possible way I’m sure. But she really is starting to get quite limited as to what she can do. Traveling, sleeping, sitting, standing, eating are all becoming pretty awkward, so I can see her point. Pretty sure Little Lara is ready to come out now too, she has been punching around in there, trying to force her way out so that she can properly hang out with everyone, instead of just being stuck inside Mommy’s tummy listening to everyone talking about her. How rude we are!

Lara had another Midwife appointment last week, and was told everything is still good, and going to plan – which is the exact news we wanted.

(Week 30) It’s the final countdown!

10 weeks and counting! WOW! Obviously that is if she is bang on time, which if you ask her Grandparents and her own Mom, is not going to be the case, she is going to be early. We’ll see…

I had a huge rush of fear this week… ‘What if we’re not ready?!’. Now that we are getting so close, I’m starting to panic that we wont have everything ready for her if she’s early. What if we don’t have enough blankets? Enough sheets? Enough clothes? Enough nappys (diapers)? But I guess that it was shops are for. It is a scary thought though, I want to be the best Dad I can be, and that starts by making sure I’m ready.

We’ve pretty much got all the essentials now, all the things she will definitely need from day dot, but still have a few more things to sort out. After that it’ll be things ready for when she is a little bit older, or a few treats for her and us.

I found myself day dreaming quite a lot this week, just staring at Lara’s bump, various things came in to my head, but one thought that kind of made me sad, was that I won’t have the initial bond with Little Lara that Big Lara will have. I’ve read about it in lots of books, forums and magazines, but I didn’t ever think it would be a problem for me. I don’t think it will be a huge problem for me, but it was the first time I had thought about. Lara will have had this baby inside her for 9 months, they will have bonded all that time, and I will be meeting her for the first time, and will have to build up my relationship alongside the bond they have already. It sounds pretty selfish when I write it down, but it’s difficult to explain. I guess in a way, it is jealousy. I’m not jealous of all the pain, awkwardness etc Lara has had, but I guess I’m jealous of the bond they have created. Even more reason for me to get everything ready for when she is born.

She has been kicking away in there this week, Lara even held her foot while she was at work, and had to move it out of the way as it was getting so uncomfortable. It is so crazy to think she is almost a fully grown baby now. I love it.

I can’t wait to meet her, and I cannot wait to be a Dad to her and guide her through her own journey. Exciting times ahead!